Scammed part three

So after trying to stop my daughter from continuing to give money to her beloved country superstar I realized she has been brainwashed to do banking activities that led to her not able to have a bank account. Fast forward to July. I had her phone and saw messages to her “beloved, She stole my credit card to buy him gift cards. $2k gone immediately from my account. She told me they were needing this money to give her a welcome party. Her superstars band would be coming to biting her to him. Funny thing is he was married to another superstar the weekend he was to come for her. Scares me as I think she still believes.

Niger

Scammed part two

My daughter fell for the invite to help this country superstar fund a charity to help kids. She never had children and all her maternal boxes must have been ticked. She gave “him” all personal info and they took over $10,000 from hr checking account. She also provided her credit card numbers numbers and they ran up 20 k in gift cards, gas,and a Starbucks. This was very early 2020. I became aware in May of 2020. I found out because I wanted to renew her passport. We have enjoyed a week in a Mexican resort for 10 years. She could not give me a $100 check.

What happened to the money you saved during Covid I asked. She explained she gave it all to this country star to fund a charity. I freaked and even though she was 52; she lives with me and I cover all her expenses. This was in May.

I started reviewing her finances and her credit cards. She had given them copies of her drivers license, w2’s, credit cards which they maxed out. I did not have the full story yet.

She outright lied to me about her partin all of this. I consulted a lawyer to see if bankruptcy was an option. He brought a criminal prosecutor into our meeting. After reviewing my daughters communications they realized we were not their gravy train.

I

E

Scammed by country superstar

This is a story of my daughter. She is 53. She has held a job in retail over 30 years. She had been scammed out of 35k. Who knew she would be a victim albeit a willing one. This girl locks her car in our garage. But a comment on Instagram brought a dark presence into her life. Targeted as a person to help fund his charity for the kids, she gave him all her personal information. W2’s social security numbers. She believes this country singer and she shared a video chat. Technical difficulties kept from having a one on one conversation. She gave them all her credit card numbers and they ran up thousands in one day. I was unaware of this till I tried to renew her passport and she had no money to pay for it. Next post will continue the spiral downward’

Insights for Today

I wish I had some awesome wisdom to share but I have my truth. It may be a bit ugly. I was at a grad party today and a conversation with my husbands cousin he told me I was a humanitarian. Not sure what that means. I have lost my freedom. This is so awful tome. My spouse is old . For better or worse vows recited in 1967 seem to have given me the worst for 50 plus years. I am a pleaser. Why? Who knows. My dad never had any words for me unless idiot and moron are terms of endearment. Found a spouse who could perpetuate a lack of approval. This spouse who I lived apart from for 20 years is now in my space. I feel responsible for him but he is so inert I could replace with a rock.

Today I am 78. His home her home has become something of a nursing home. I found him passed out and in septic shock at his home on October 31, 2020. He was not able to move back to our farm so I set up a bed in my living room to allow him to recover. As of today he is still here. So much for my independent life. Not sure what the coming years will bring but I am feeling less and less kind as this drags on.

Her home also houses a 53 year old daughter who is special needs. Last year she was scammed out of $35,000 by Blake Shelton scammers. I rebuilt her losses and when she had more money she gave it to the scammers this month. Try to get mental health care for an unwilling adult. Now I need to protect her from future scammers .

I am stressed. Not sure how to help either of my charges but I know my cancer and subsequent heart failure was a walk in the park compared to these challenges.

I welcome all suggestions to help me live my best life. Pretty sure I am not doing that now.

7 years later

Regardless my life has continued to evolve. I thought I was in control of what I did and I was so fortunate to have had several awesome vacations to Europe traveling the rivers in Germany. Funny story as I travelled on the Rhine and stopped at Cologne, Germany. When I disembarked the ship, I was in awe of the huge building across the river. It was the headquarters of my employer , Lanxess , prior to being retired. Who knew how important this company was. I was fortunate enough to be their Credit Manager for six years.

I forgot about this blog. An angel found my previous posts and thought I should continue. My story has evolved but right now it is not happily ever after.

My Apartment

While undergoing chemo, I bought furniture, appliances and household stuff.  All new.  This was great therapy.  I nested and I healed.  At this time my husband was super supportive and concerned for my prognosis.  I only was concerned with the moment.  If I felt good all was good.  Time to give up worry for the unknown future and be present now.

It was by no means easy to feel sick and ache all over.  To lose all my hair in winter makes for a cold head.  I never, ever felt sorry for myself.  What a gift my attitude turned out to be as I began this change.  I was able to be thankful for every day and I felt at peace and happy.

I decided I could use more therapy so I bought a new car.  That was so I could get to my daily radiation treatments.  I had been driving clunkers that had to be fixed to make them run.  This was now unacceptable to me and my emerging independence.

I began to feel in charge of my own life.  I did not have to get permission to act.  I was 55 and life was good even with cancer.

No Plan

One day in May, 1999 I decided I would have to make some drastic changes if I wanted to feel joy again.  I left home for work one morning and never came back to the home that was sucking out my joy.  I did not feel at home in my home.  Impulsively, I moved to my mom’s home so I could figure out what was next.  Not the smartest thing to do but I was already feeling I could be happy.

Two months into this arrangement, I found a mass in my left breast that turned out to be stage 2b breast cancer with six lymph nodes showing cancer.  Thus began my journey toward healing both body and soul.

i had the surgery and I rented an apartment where I could devote my time and energy toward my recovery.  For the first time in a long time I became selfish and I liked it.  My world and me would never be the same.

Me

My name is Kathy. I have been married to the same man for forty eight years but I have lived in my own home for the last fifteen years. This blog will explore why this arrangement works for us. At least it does for me.

My husband and I are very much opposites and everyone has heard that opposites attract. When actual lifestyle choices become opposite that is most likely why couples divorce. Instead of divorce, we chose a more unconventional solution.

I wanted the freedom to make a home for myself without anyone’s input or influence. After years of doing things someone else’s way, I gave myself permission to follow my own dream and make my own choices. It is really empowering and the result work for me. I am going to keep my comments to how this relationship works for me.

Hello world!

This is my very first post.  I want to share the thoughts I have about being in a marriage but living in separate homes.  The good and bad.